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小渔村初词28期思琴组第十八讲作业贴 |
点评
问好学友,格律正确。从题目看是感叹春光易逝,上阙景起写残春的景色,下阕入情。过片与准备过片关系紧密。脉络基本清晰。遣词造句再精炼些.....
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点评
问好学友,格律正确。上阙第一句景起,下一句入情太快,谁可诉,无倾吐意思重复。下阕越关山跨千山重复,脉络不够清晰,遣词造句再精炼些更.....
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