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小渔村30期初级词班第七讲暗香组作业贴 |
点评
问好学友,格律正确,脉络清晰流畅,在秋天回忆春天的离别。以及别后情形,感情真挚,不错,以上个见。,
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点评
问好学友,格律正确,上阙从万顷松涛到楼,由远及近,再青山,深水,又由近及远了,画面感太跳跃,最好是由远及近,或者由近及远,以上个见。
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